'I'm not coming': Boss demands employee join unpaid weekend team building, employee refuses

Author image for Eleonora Bader
Eleonora Bader
Jun 20, 2023 7:00 PM EDT

When working in any industry, you may find that you come across tight-knit teams of employees who often meet up in their spare time, whether for drinks or a meal, for some good old 'team building'. In this case, it went further than that, as the place OP was employed at organized a team building during the weekend, pulling employees away from their spouses and families, yet not paying a dime. OP approached their boss and exclaimed that weekends were an important time for her to be with her spouse, who had an opposite schedule. It should be noted that this oversharing isn't necessary, as it isn't your boss's business what you do in your spare time on weekends, or how you would like to spend them.

When OP was done explaining, their boss told them that it was ridiculous that they couldn't spend a single weekend without their spouse, and that they were ruining the 'team'. OP stood their ground and refused to join the unpaid vacation. Scroll down to read what happened next. For more like this, here is a Karen customer who attempted to get the front desk clerk at a hotel fired after they were refused service.

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/pure_sin 3 hours ago My boss is making me feel guilty for not wanting to participate in weekend "team buildings".
    via u/pure_sin
  • 02
    Font - I started working in a new company a few months ago, and i really love my job. The team i'm in is very "tight- knit". They like to go out for drinks, they like to go on vacations together, they organize team buildings very often.
    via u/pure_sin
  • 03
    Font - I was part of one team building 2 weeks ago, and now they are organizing a weekend (friday - sunday) trip away, however they don't allow any families and spouses on these trips, which i understand.
    via u/pure_sin
  • 04
    Font - Let me be clear - this isn't a business trip - its a vacation. Today I told my boss that i like going out with them (even tho most of the times i'm being forced to participate), but i'm not comfortable leaving my spouse for a whole weekend to go partying with my colleagues.
    via u/pure_sin
  • 05
    Font - I told her that me and my fiance work opposite schedules - he works night shifts and basically the weekend is the only time i get to spend with him, and told her that I'm not comfortable going on the weekend, when i spend time with my colleagues 9 hours a day.
    via u/pure_sin
  • 06
    Font - Basically she started acting rude, saying that i'm being irresponsible for my job, and that wasn't a family trip - because of people like me we can't be a good team. Also she said that its "unprofessional" to not be able to "live without my spouse" for a weekend.
    via u/pure_sin
  • 07
    Font - Honestly i felt really hurt by those words because i love my job and put all effort to do it the best I can. But I also love my family and love to spend time them in my free.. I love my job but honestly that attitude is making me sick.
    via u/pure_sin
  • 08
    Font - DarkSparkand 3 hr. ago Any job that pulls the 'we're family' card is বৰৰৱৰৰৰ44 PAPAT 185 Reply Share
    via u/DarkSparkand
  • 09
    Font - MercuryJellyfish · 3 hr. ago 1. Never, ever, ever explain to an employer what you want to do in your free time. Not a word of detail. 2. Whenever they ask you whether you want to spend your free time
    via u/MercuryJellyfish
  • 10
    Font - doing whatever bu nit they want you to do, tell them that you've love to, but you can't because of commitments at home. If they ask you what commitments, you say that's private and you're not able to discuss it
    via u/MercuryJellyfish
  • 11
    Font - because it involves other people's personal details. 3. Start looking for another job because these clowns clearly aren't ever going to promote you unless you're willing to take holidays with them, and sc w that.
    via u/MercuryJellyfish
  • 12
    Font - DodgyRogue 2 hr. ago And send an email to them clarifying that as well, so you have a paper trail Vote Reply Share
    via u/DodgyRogue
  • 13
    Font - wlfwrtr 2 hr. ago Go to HR and say, "Since we are expected to go on these team building exercises for the weekend I was wondering how we get our hotels paid for and how do we put in for the extra time to get paid. I know it's
    via u/wlfwrtr
  • 14
    Font - work related because we're not allowed to bring our SO with us and was set up by our boss." Reply Share Vote
    via u/wlfwrtr
  • 15
    Font - fromwayuphigh. 3 hr. ago Holy sl t is that toxic. These people are your colleagues, not your friends and certainly not your family. If they want your time, they'll compensate you for it appropriately. Vote Reply Share
    via u/fromwayuphigh
  • 16
    Font - Responsible_Milk_421 If there's a coworker within 50 miles, it's not a vacation. I can't even begin to fathom calling any experience with my coworkers a "vacation". 4 Vote 3 hr. ago . Reply Share
    via u/Responsible_Milk_421
  • 17
    Font - FractionofaFraction 2 hr. ago Your boss needs to look up the term 'unprofessional'. What they're trying to do is make you care about your job more than you care about your family. I can only imagine that
    via u/Fractionofafraction
  • 18
    Font - they either hate their own home life or they have no family / friends outside of work. Draw a line, do your job and collect as much evidence of their unprofessional behaviour as you can in case of reprisal. ↑ Vote ↓ Reply Share
    via u/Fractionofafraction
  • 19
    Font - Incomitatum 3 hr. ago . Unless they are going to pay for Travel, Hotel, AND your Time, then you CERTAINLY don't have to go.
    via u/Incomitatum
  • 20
    Font - They can't make you "work" on your day off. Which means they can't make extra demands on your time. Start getting some of the details in writing: ask openly in about all this.
    via u/Incomitatum
  • 21
    Font - Project the Cost (on your household) and explain that you don't get paid enough to elect these funds to their Cause. I'm a Team player; but you think sports are real and want to start doing Away games? Nah.
    via u/Incomitatum
  • 22
    Font - · Hegemonic_Smegma 1 hr. ago You share way too much information with your boss about your life outside of work.
    via u/Hegemonic_Smegma
  • 23
    Font - A simple "I'm not available" or "I have other commitments" is all you need to tell a supervisor. If pressed with "Why?" or "What commitments?", an appropriate answer is: "Commitments that are not related to my job." Reply Share Vote
    via u/Hegemonic_Smegma
  • 24
    Font - smallboxofcrayons 48 min. ago I had a boss like this once. You have to stand your ground here. You spend 40+ hours with these people, unless they want to pay you for 48 hours away they can ps off. I'd update the resume and start looking.
    via u/smallboxofcrayons

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employee boss job company FAILS manager management vacation team building weekend new job unprofessional workplace-stories workplace-stories-reddit antiwork-reddit
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